1-star Reviews Romantic comedy

Hair Calamities and Hot Cash by Gail Pallotta

Hair Calamities and Hot Cash was a book that was far from what I had imagined it to be. A supposed rom-com and an entertaining read left me just plain exasperated.

Certain things perplexed me to no end.

1. Blazing fast attraction between H and h.

Day 1: Philip Wells enters the town of Triville and rams his car straight into Eve’s shop.

And she offers him coffee for this.

My issue: Now if that had happened to me, I would have rammed his head in his own car till he stopped seeing straight. I may have too many cruel bones in body but seriously coffee!

Same day: They set up a date in the same evening (I don’t even need to highlight my issue here)

Day 2: She starts dreaming about the guy she met yesterday, barely talked to and knew almost nothing about. They kiss and I think that was meant to be romantic. Too bad, it failed miserably.

My issue: Oh! That’s way too much effort to make something preposterous look romantic.

Day 3:

“Images of Eve filled his brain.”

“Eve’s personality sparkled like a diamond, the real thing. He’d been dating cubic zirconias.
he’d never tire of seeing Eve.”

“She was different from the women he’d dated in New York”

“She wasn’t trying to tie him down or take advantage of his position in life.”

That’s day three for Philip’s thoughts. And these were after inconsequential chats and invisible connection. Eve wasn’t the only one floating in a dream world. Philip was right there to keep her company.

2. How could a mistakenly picked up bottle of conditioner lend you into a frothy disaster?

3. Impossibly agonizing question marks at the end of every fourth sentence.

“Did happiness knock on the door of my heart for the first time in years? Did I dare let it in knowing it was only for a short time? Either way, I had to stop resenting Bonnie Sue. Who could blame her?”

“Was I reading more into it than he meant? His searching gaze told me I wasn’t. Who’d have thought someone like Philip would turn up in this little mountain town and have a meal in my house?”

“Had Philip called? No blinking red light. Had it finally occurred to him our romance could go nowhere? I couldn’t bear to date Philip and then lose him, but at the same time I wanted him to be happy. What a tangled web. Did I lack strength?”

Yes, it was aggravating to say the least.

I get that annoyingly shitty writing is somehow supposed be stylistic. But it was enough to make me throw the book out of the window and spit on it twice. What made the author write so many sentences that ended with a question mark? Did she think the book was going for a psychiatrist analysis? (Oh yeah! This book is affecting me).

4. “His gaze drifted to the computer, but his heart flew to Eve. He grabbed the sides of his head. What was he? A wooly worm? No. He was a mountain lion.”

I take issue with such absurd thinking. Period.

Well, I was ready to move on from the senselessness of the book.

Later, the story heads towards a mystery with threatening letters and a robbery but it was unsalvageable by then. Some ridiculously immature sleuthing and even more ridiculous turn of events poked the book even more deeper into the pit. By the end of the book, my brain was pleading me to just get it over with.

Forget about character development, the author did as well. There was no pace to the story. There were some (or too many) talks/chats/incidents that were totally unnecessary and just added to the pages and boredom of the book. The writing was incompetent and lacked anything that could be called even slightly absorbing.

This book was supposed to be a fun light-hearted romance with a pinch of mystery and chaos of robbery. It was neither a romance (light hearted or otherwise) nor any mystery. I struggled from the very first chapter and would have put it down, if it wasn’t for this review.

You may also like...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *